ROSHANAK – “Wish I Was Dead”: Nothing Is Sacred
Photographer: @barcodebitch
Wish I Was Dead. The title hits right away. But instead of alarm, it sparks curiosity. The cover tells a different story: ROSHANAK sits on a rug, dressed in white with boots, holding a stuffed animal. She looks direct and steady.
Then the keys start. Soon after, her voice comes in, sweet but full of personality. She doesn’t break down. The tension grows, thanks to the strings, giving her room to go deep. “Sometimes when I’m sleeping / I wish I was dead.” The calm moments feel the most honest.
ROSHANAK is a singer-songwriter from Toronto. She says about the song: “I wrote this from a very real place as a queer Iranian-Canadian navigating family, survival, and my own mind. This song isn’t about giving up. It’s about saying the thoughts out loud that people are often too afraid to admit.” That’s all you need to know.
The strings and keys create a mood that puts me in a specific mental state. It’s dark, tense, and unresolved. This is what real anxiety feels like: rigid and heavy. And from all sides, there’s the voice. Voices talk and whisper. “Don’t you give me that look.” “I never thought I’d do with you.” There is someone or something on the other side, pressing, getting away with too much, holding more power than it should. In the middle of all this, a thought appears: “Why don’t I feel happy.”
That’s what happens when you hold onto something for too long and can’t let it go.
Dollhouse Diaries is her upcoming EP. This song is the first door. She made it with her producer Gandhaar Amin and dedicated it to her people. There aren’t many, she says, but they’re enough to keep her going. Honestly, that’s all it takes.
If you’ve ever felt the weight of not fitting in, ROSHANAK’s music is for you. She’s been there too. Now she sings about it.
